(Dicky Barrett/Nate Albert)

they came to Boston on their vacation
they came, they saw, they annoyed me
they saw it all, what! Fanueil Hall! It's best if they just avoid me
rented a car to see the sights they found the Hub confusing
looked for the Swan Boats In Mattapan well, I find that real amusing
I was here before they came. I'll be here long after
don't want to share, but it seems clear that I'm gonna have to
they came to Boston for an education live in the dorms, join a frat
jam my bars and subway cars now, what the fuck is that?
spend year one having fu

Brain-storming, habit-forming, battle-warning weary winsome actor spewing
spineless chilling lines--
The critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring
And really not an awful lot of fun.

Well who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D.,
And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?

Court-jesting, never-resting--he must be very cunning
To assume an air of dignity
And bless us all
With his oratory prowess,
His lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air.

And every night his act's the same
And so it must be all a game of chess he's playing--

But you're wrong, Steve. You see, it's only solitaire.

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